Be There!

Monday morning, Fourth of July, I head over to my favorite shady bike trail to do my long run of the week.  This week it was 12 miles I was aiming for.

The run went uneventfully.  It was hot, humid and I had to pee in the woods twice, but that is pretty normal.

When I had about 3 miles left to go, I ran by one of those SUPER friendly runners.  I give a nod or a wave or a "hey" to most runners I pass, but this guy was one of those "hey, have a great run" to everyone type of guys.  I give those types credit.  It takes balls to be that friendly, and to exert all that energy when you are already running in 90+ degree weather...good for you putting "friendly" first.  I'm usually just trying to not pass out.

So as I pass him he says "hey...have a great run...I had to bail on mine".  I replied "thanks, and sorry about your run...hope you feel better".  Now, I run slowly, so I was within earshot and speaking distance for a little bit.  He says back "I think it was all the miles I did here last weekend", so I replied "did you do the 1/2 Sauer?" and he said "no" and then decided to jog up so he could keep talking to me.  I didn't mind.  I was 2 hours into my run, bored with my music, and like I said, he was one of those balls of energy, and I figured he would at least make the end of my run feel a little quicker.

We were chatting about races, times, when we started running, his injury, my hip bothering me, etc.  It was kinda nice just idol chit chat about running.  I mentioned Paul and his running and the fact that he is crazy fast and very competitive.  It was funny cause the guy kept saying that Paul was a "stud".  It made me giggle.  Not that Paul isn't a stud...just was a funny choice of words for this guy.

BTW...I never got the guy's name...so he is just "the guy".  Sorry guy...but in all our chatting, we never exchanged names :-)

Anyway, the guy ends up saying that his recent ex-girlfriend was not at all supportive of his running and its part of why she is now an ex.  He used the word "jealous" when saying he wished things were more like Paul and I where we run races together, or go to watch each other race.  He sadly told me that she didn't come to his first ever half marathon and that it was a huge moment in his life.  A big accomplishment that she didn't think it was important to be there for.  He told me how disappointed he was that he didn't have her there cheering for him, saying that she was proud and celebrating this accomplishment with him.

I bring this up because this is not the first time that I have heard this from other runners, and Paul has heard it a lot too.  In fact, at a number of races we have been at together, we have ended up talking to someone who says "man I wish my _____ was here and was supportive of my running and racing".

It makes me sad.

We are very lucky that I have gotten into running and really like it.  We are lucky that we have a shared interest and passion around the same hobby.  In some ways, that makes it easy.  In all honesty though, in some ways it makes it hard.  It is easy because we both love hanging out at a race, talking with other runners, celebrating the triumphs of finishers at the finish line.  Neither of us wants to stay home and skip a race even if we aren't running it.  BUT, we have to fit 2 people's runs into each week and we have a kid that can't stay home alone.  Only one person can run at a time, which is usually at night.  Long runs which can take close to half a day have to be done seperately so basically we lose 1 full day of the weekend when you add up the hours.  Unless we hire a babysitter, we can't both run a race unless its a 5K and I run with Hsin in the stroller.  So we either go broke on babysitters, or one of us always has to watch and cheer.

But the thing is, even if I didn't run...I would watch and cheer.
Running is Paul's passion.  It is more than a hobby, it is a way of life for him.
If I didn't run, would we be at races every weekend?  Probably not.  But we would be at a bunch.
And I say WE.  WE would be there.  How could I miss his marathons?  How could I miss his 50 mile race?  How could I miss these huge accomplishments in his life and miss moments that are so important to him?

This goes for all things in life.  You may not love everything your spouse or significant other is in to.  You don't have to.  You don't have to sign up and start doing everything your spouse does.  But support what they desire and what they are passionate about.  Support it by not giving them grief everytime they want to go out and do whatever it is they do.  Support it by going along and giving it a shot yourself before deciding it isn't for you.  Support it by showing up and being a cheerleader for the person you love at something that matters to them.

Be proud, be supportive and mostly BE THERE for someone you love.
Who knows...you just might end up with a hobby and a passion yourself.
What you WILL end up with is a happy and healthy relationship.