The 12 Days Of My SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING

On the 1st day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a lack of any mot-i-va-tion.

On the 2nd day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a pollyanna and pot luck lunch  that included pizza, buffalo dip and cookies.  Thanks for the fat hips stupid.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a damn cookie exchange that included cheese, spinach dip and wine!!!  Thanks for the gut fatso.

On the 4th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a complete and utter lack of the ability to get the F*CK up in the morning to run.

On the 5th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a Santa sized sack full of excuses that stink as bad as yesterday's pull up.

On the 6th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a scowling and judging husband that makes "good choices" like eating an apple while I am still eating the cookies from the damn cookie exchange.  F the husband and his good damn choices!!!!!

On the 7th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a best friend and running partner that has the same amount of motivation, the same sack of excuses and the same judging husband making "good choices" as me.  Seriously husbands...f*ck you and your good choices. 

On the 8th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a mess of a house, presents to wrap and random other sh*t to do that prevents me from spending even 30 minutes on the treadmill (pulled that beauty of an excuse straight from the sack).

On the 9th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a severe and near homicidal LOATHING of the treadmill.  I HATE you oh vial creature made for mind numbing boredom while exercising in the winter!!!

On the 10th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...at least 2 more parties this season that will include fried food, butter, mayo, cheese and other various HORRID things for my waistline.

On the 11th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...a growing waistline that is making me sad.

On the 12th day of Christmas my SORRY A** ATTITUDE ABOUT RUNNING gave to me...the sorry a** attitude I have about not wanting to run yet wanting to run, not having the time to run and not making the time to run....AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Please Santa...in addition to the dollhouse you are bringing for the Hsin-Hua...could you find in that big red sack of yours a better attitude and some motivation to get back on track with running for me?  I've been a pretty good girl this year, for serious.

By the by...who the hell gives a damn partridge and a bunch of other fowl to someone for the holiday.

We would SO not be friends in real life if you gave me that sh*t.

Just saying.

Fat, Dumb and Lazy Is No Way To Go Through Life

Well, yesterday was just lovely...I got up, I ran, I felt great.

Then this morning happened.  I set my alarm, and I got up...but I am so behind at work I came in early instead of running.

I am having a damn anxiety attack every 5 minutes over the amount of sh*t I need to get done at work, and I don't even know where to begin.  My desk looks like a bomb hit it, and I couldn't drink any more coffee if I tried.

So obviously taking a 5 minute break from it to complain over here on my blog was the best decision of where to start right?

GOOD GRACIOUS I need to get into some sort of groove or routine again.  I need 2 weeks in a row to be just normal weeks.  Weeks where I run in the morning, come to work and actually accomplish something rather than be in meetings ALL DAMN DAY!, come home and hang out with my peeps and eat dinner, then get stuff done around the house...rinse and repeat.

Well, keep dreaming sista!  It ain't gonna happen until after the holidays...speaking of which I have like NO shopping done yet!  I am usually done by October.  I don't know who I am this year!  I feel so disorganized and a mess.  Not running isn't helping.

I need to get it together...fat, dumb and lazy is no way to go through life.  Neither is tired, disorganized and looney!

All Rest And No Running Make Heather A Crazy Person


I took a break after the Philly Marathon.  A good, long break.  No running AT ALL!  It felt really good on the one hand, but REALLY crappy on the other hand.  Running keeps me sane, it keeps me balanced and it keeps me from being a damn lunatic.  Yes, Pauly will tell you I have been a bit pissy these last 2 weeks, and Hsin-Hua will tell you that I have been a bit of an impatient Mom that has done my share of yelling in her general direction the last 2 weeks.

SORRY everyone I have wronged during this temporary break from reality.

GOOD NEWS...I ran this morning.  It was slow.  It was ugly.  And it was a very short run.  But it was a run.  I feel 10 pounds thinner, and I even feel like being nice today.  I might even hug a stranger (yeah, on second thought...f*ck that...I'm not that nice).

Yup, I got up at the crack of dawn and ran on the treadmill.  Not my favorite place to run, but I will run in rain, I will run in the cold, but I am not a fan of running in both rain and cold.  Since it was both this morning, my basement and a treadmill had to do.

It certainly helped the motivation that Nikki texted me at 5:30 to say she was getting on her elliptical.  How could I NOT get up if she was even if we weren't running together.  Thanks for the kick in the pants girl!

So Heather got her groove back this morning.  I even did 100 sit ups and a handful of push ups (I suck at these and have ZERO upper body strength...this is a goal for over the winter). 

This was a much needed break and it did feel good in its own way, but...Oh Running...I missed you much!

Philly Marathon...CHECK!

Well let me start off by saying that I should have run this damn marathon back in September when I was in PEAK shape and actually READY and PREPARED to run a marathon.  Yeah...November marathons...never again.

Like I have said in previous posts, I was burnt out and didn't have much motivation left.  What that meant was that in the weeks immediately leading up to the Philly Marathon, I did little to no running.  I did an 18 mile run 2 weeks before and a handful of 5-6 mile runs in the other weeks.  Not really optimal marathon training in ANYONE's book.

So I sucked a bit for this run.
Don't get me wrong...I am REALLY proud of myself for completing my first official road marathon.  I am REALLY proud of that accomplishment that now puts me in the proud 1% of the population that can make that claim.  I just wish I had done it earlier in the season so I could have FELT better DURING the accomplishment.

Here is how the day unfolded...
4:30am - wake up, get dressed in outfit that was carefully laid out the night before.  Bib pinned on shirt, layers that can be thrown away put on, powder in compression socks to hopefully keep bilsters to a minimum.  Running skirt looking hot AS USUAL!

5:05am - get on train to the city along with Nikki and Pauly P.  Nikki running her second half marathon, Pauly running is 1 billionth marathon.  Tired and pissy we almost silently made the ride into Philly.

6:30ish - Hit the porta potties one last time before heading to our designated corrals. 

6:40ish - Head to our corrals.  Funny thing, since I originally registered for the half and upgraded to the full, my finish time was still recorded as 2:30 so I had the same corral assignment as Pauly P.  Yeah...because I belong right behind the damn elite runners so the Fasty McSpeedy's can all run me down.  I GLADLY walked toward the back to start in the same corral as Nikki.

6:45 - I ask the lady who is in charge of the 5:30 pace group where I can find the 6 hour pace group (I had decided I didn't want to go out to fast, so I wanted to at least run the first 10 miles with a pace group).  "Oh honey, there is no 6 hour pace group.  This is it".  Wait...so they don't even MAKE a pace group for people as slow as me.  That is pretty sad. 

So I ran with the 5:30 pace group for about 9-10 miles.  I felt good and bad on and off during these first miles.

I then slowly lost them between 10 and 14 when I had to hit a porta potty.  When you are a back of the packer who hits a porta potty 14 miles into a major marathon, it is wise to have more than 4 tissues on your person.  Just saying!

Also around this point of the race was where my knee started to kill me.  I began to ask friendly looking spectators with big handbags if they had Advil.  Finally someone had some.  LIFESAVER!  It could have been crack, it could have been poisen, but what the hell.

After the brief break in the porta potty, I felt refreshed...well, you know what I mean.  Miles 14 through about 19 felt pretty good.  I ran most of it and walked about 2 minutes every mile to mile and a half.  I had loaded some new jams on my iPod the night before, and I felt good.

Shortly after crossing the East Falls Bridge the second time, I started to hit the wall.  Then began the climb into Manyunk.  On any regular day the "incline" into Manyunk would probably be un-noticable...but 19 miles into a marathon, it seems like Mt. Everest.  My stomach started feeling a little queasy too from the Gatorade and gels.  I needed calories, but if I ate one more gel I was gonna hurl.  GOD BLESS whoever decided to put out bags of Herr's pretzels.  You are a lifesaver!  Lifesaver number 2 in this race.  Small sh*t matters when you are running 26.2 miles.  Toilet paper, pretzels and advil :)

Munching on pretzels I made the turnaround to head back out of Manyunk and toward Kelly Drive to the finish.  I knew that Pauly P would be waiting for be somewhere around the East Falls Bridge and miles 20-22.

Out of the corner of my eye as I was nearing the last stretch of Manyunk I saw someone coming toward me and then they were hugging me before I really registered who it was.  It was our friend Stephan who had also run the full marathon, and had finished long enough before me that he was in jeans and enjoying lunch at the Manyunk Brewery.  Sweet man asked if we would be joining them when I was done, when I reminded him that I still had about an hour to go and maybe more...so probably not :)  Another Fasty McSpeedy type!

I kept trekking along, slowing a little more with every mile that passed.  I knew my spirits would be lifted as soon as I saw my Pauly P.  As I was approaching the aid station at Mile 22 I spotted him!  He started to wave and I picked up my pace to meet up with him.  He did warn me that the aid stations were starting to fall apart ahead so I should fill up here. 

Pauly P was in bad shape himself, sore, tired and in a bit of pain, so he was a real trooper to travel an additional 8 miles total (4 out and 4 back) just to see me through my finish.  We walked and ran on and off for those final 4 miles.  It felt like a death march.  The pavement for 26 miles was just brutal.  I kept thinking that the 50K I did on trails, though longer distance, was SO much easier on my body.  I swore off road marathons going forward.   We'll see if I really meant it next season.

Pauly P who is a Fasty McSpeedy said and really meant it...the people in the back of the pack are the true heroes.  They are the ones who are out there for 2-3 times as long as the fast people, but they do it anyway.  The back of the pack people spend Ultra distance time to run a marathon.  They may not be fast, but in so many ways, the race is harder for them, but they do it anyway.  That meant a lot to me.  It is easy to beat yourself up in those moments when you are finishing a race and there are hardly any people left running or spectating.  When the aid stations are empty, the cheer sections have packed up and gone home.  It is easy to feel defeated and feel like you aren't that good, and to wish you were fast and a "real athlete".  But what Pauly P said is true.  I went out that morning knowing that I had 5 1/2-6 hours of pounding pavement ahead of me.  That is twice as long as the speedy guys like Pauly take.  I run the same distance as the fast guys, it just takes me longer.  I am just as much an athlete as the fast guys, I'm just a different type of athlete.  I am in the same 1% of the population that the fast marathoners are in.  I have the same medal that the fast marathoners have.  I can wear my marathon jacket just as proudly as the fast guy and say "yeah, I ran that".  It isn't about my time...its about the finish. 

I DID IT!!! 
This year, the girl who only 2 years ago was kind of overweight and anything but an athlete, ran a 50K and a Marathon. 
THAT is kinda a big deal!
And I'm not ashamed to say...I AM KINDA A BIG DEAL!
I am proud of what I have accomplised this year, and I can't wait to plan out what I will accomplish next year!
Thanks 2011...this has been a kick a** running year for me and my Pauly P!!!  Hey roads and trails...see you in 2012 for even more adventures.


**To the people who were still along the road when I finished the Philly Marathon, THANK YOU!!!  You few stragglers who were there to cheer me on, I don't know you, you don't know me, but damn you meant a lot to me in those final miles and final steps.  To anyone out there that runs races or spectates at races...if you ever have the time, not saying every race, but those where you can...stick around for the back of the pack runners.  We don't get the cheers, the claps and all the hoopla that the front and middle packers get.  It means a LOT to have ANYONE cheering for us.  We completed the distance, and that "nice job" or "congratluations" at the finish line, even if it is one person instead of 50+...its priceless.  I am lucky to have my Pauly P who will stand around for 24 hours to wait and cheer me on...who will run an additional 8 miles on top of a marathon to be there to cheer me on...but there are a lot of back of the pack runner who don't have a Pauly P.  You can be their Pauly P at the next race!  Who knows, it may end up meaning as much to you as it does to that slow as sh*t runner!!!

26.2 in 5 days!

I did my last long run before the Philly Marathon last Sunday.  18 miles of chilly temps, and stiff, tired muscles.  Ugh.

I did something horrid to my knee and could hardly walk the last mile (not good), and when I got home Hsin said "you runny fast Mommy?"  When I said "yes", she said "ew, you're sweaty" and refused to kiss my face.  AWESOME!  Thanks Hsin.

Despite the horridly painful knee situation, which I hope doesn't manifest during the marathon itself, I didn't feel that bad.  I haven't run more than 6 miles in over a month, so last weekend's run did wonders for my self esteem and my confidence about the marathon.

My biggest issue right now is motivation.  And its a terrible, downward spiral I have myself caught in right now.  When I don't run for a few days, I swear I feel like a lazy peice of crap, and feel like I gained 10 pounds in 2 days even if the scale says I didn't.  But on the flip side, I have NO moitvation to run.  Its not even that I just want to sit on my lazy a** and do nothing.  I want to do other stuff.  Like work on the house or play with my kid.  But running keeps me sane, and makes me feel good about myself.  That 18 mile run pulled me out of a "I feel fat and terrible" funk that I had been in for a few weeks.  Hence...the cycle I can't break.  I don't run because I don't really want to, but I need to run so I don't lose my f-ing mind!  I am SO motivated in the spring and summer and then fall and winter hit and I screech to a halt!

I need this marathon to be over so I can stop feeling like I HAVE to run, and just run because it makes me feel good and keeps my jeans from splitting down the a** seam.  After the marathon this weekend my only goal is to not get fat over the holidays. 

Listen here cookies, candy, cake, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and everything else that comes along for the holiday celebrations.  Go F yourself.  I don't need to eat you...especially not large amounts of you.  You may taste good and look good and you may have the ability to seduce people into your sweet, wonderfulness...but I can resist.  At least I hope I can!!!

And just in case that doesn't work...I'll sign up for a marathon in spring to kick my a** back into shape in the new year!!!

Hello? Is It Me Your Looking For?

I have been gone for a VERY long time!  For shame!
After my 50K, a couple of things have happened.

1st - Burn out set in.  The big crash after the big race.  With a marathon still on tap for 2011 in November, I kinda wish this didn't happen, but I tell ya...motivation to run anything more than an easy 3 miles is becoming harder and harder to find!  Add to that the chill in the air at either 8pm or 5:30 am, and that sucks for motivation too.

2nd - I have been juggling two pretty senior level positions at work since June while they look for a replacement for one.  The search has been slow and no good candidates are in the hopper right now.  While I was handling it ok for th elast few months, fall and winter are when alot of projects go live, and things get really busy.  I am barely keeping my head above water at work, and I thank God everyday for the awesome people that work for me.  They have all stepped up big time and this ship would have sunk by now without them.

3rd - We are also moving Pauly's office.  We are no longer going to keep his office in the city.  He is going to  become more selective about the type of clients and type of work he takes, and this will allow him to work out of our home.  This change will also allow Paul to concentrate on training for a few key races this year with very specific goals, and will let him pursue a new passion...coaching high school kids.  This season he has been assistant coach for an all girls, Catholic High School Cross Country team.  He LOVED it.  The girls have all run their fastest times this season, and Pauly really loves the feeling of helping these girls reach their running goals.  Over the winter, Pauly will stay with the same school, and many of the same girls as head coach for indoor track.  This new direction in Paul's work and passion is very exciting.  Logistically it has taken a lot of work, planning and time.  ONce he is officially moved the first week in November, that should settle down a bit.

I have taken up attempting to run in the morning instead of the evenings.  I am just too damn tired at night, and I feel like I never get anything done because I have to leave time to run, then its time to go to bed.  It hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be to get up that early and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the feeling of it being DONE all day.  I am getting a TON done at night now too.

I am SO screwed for the Philly Marathon in November.  The longest run I have done in over a month is 6 miles.  NOT GOOD!  Next weekend I have to get out and do at least a 16-18 mile run.  It will be painful, but this marathon in November is going to be a bloodbath!  I want the accomlishment, but I also want it done.  I trained hard this summer, and I'm just plain tired.  I'm ready to have 2 or so months over the winter of maintenance running and just not getting fat.

I hope I don't collapse and die at mile 20...but I'm not holding my breath!!!  If you see me out there - please drag my sorry a** across the finish line!  Hey, a finisher is a finisher.  Doesn't matter if my lifeless body was dragged for part of the 26.2 or not.

WTF

Where have I been?
So really quick, (I swear I will post real posts and pics soon) 2 weekends ago Paul ran a 40 mile trail Ultra and came in 2nd overall...kick a**.  The next day I ran a trail half marathon and ran a very sh*tty time.  Oh well.

This past weekend, Paul ran a trail 50K and Hsin and I volunteered on what was the coldest day this year :-)  It was really fun though.

Again...details soon I swear!

My professional life is completely overwhelming right now.  I have been asked to go back to my old business unit to help with their global expansion plan and acquisition strategy...however...my new job which is soon to be my old job is FAR from being backfilled.  So I am currently doing both.  And both are BIG jobs, so I am a little overworked and a little stressed.

Personally our family is discussing some changes in direction we are planning to take.  Good ones...just ones that require a lot of thought and planning.  That has us a little overworked and a little stressed.

I ran 2 days last week, and so far this week a big fat ZERO!!!  I hate it!  I feel more stressed when I don't run, and I feel lousy all around.  I feel better about myself and my sanity lives in a MUCH better space when I consistenly run.  Time just hasn't allowed it and other things...BIG life things have taken priority.

So there you have it...that is why I have been a lousy blogger.
I have awesome pictures from all the races (well except the one I ran) so I will post updates soon.

OH...and big news too.  I am not running the Steamtown Marathon.  They have a VERY strict 6 hour cut off and quite frankly it was stressing me the hell out.  I ran 20 miles in a training run in a little over 5 hours.  6 hours MIGHT be doable, but it is very likely it isn't.  I don't want a huge accomplishment like my first official marathon to end with me crossing the finish line alone to the cleaning guys sweeping up banana peels and space blankets.  That would royally suck.

SO...I upgraded my half marathon registration for the Philly Marathon in November to the full.  It is a mostly flat course and has a 7 hour cut off which I KNOW I can make.   I feel SO much better about it.  Now I just need to get my a** outside and start running!

See you soon.

Nikki ROCKS And A Half-Marathon PR Is How I ROLL

What an awesome weekend of running and running friends!

Saturday afternoon we drove out to Reading to meet up with the Pagoda Pacers Athletic Club for their annual family picnic.  GREAT food (they even had a fish sandwich for the veggie freaks like me) and even better company!

Hanging with our Pagoda Pacer friends.

Hsin-Hua had a great time running around with all the big kids, and was even willing to share her Barbies so they would play with her!  At races and running functions there is never a shortage of sweet and creative kids who entertain themselves in the great outdoors while their lunatic parents run 8-12 hour ultras!  Hsin is no exception, and she always seems to come alive at a race and is energized by the atmosphere.  Future runner and ultra runner?  Boy do this Mommy and Daddy hope so.  We never say "we want Hsin to be a runner".  That is too much pressure.  We say "we want Hsin to WANT to be a runner".  It really is up to her, but it sure would make us happy :-)

Hsin hanging with the big girls

Sassy Hsin-Hua and Mommy at the Pacers Picnic

Unfortunately we had to leave just as the party was really getting started.  It was an hour and a half drive home to meet Hsin's babysitter and head downtown to our hotel.  We had secured ourselves a room at the hotel that literally overlooks the start/finish for the ROCK N ROLL Philly Half.   While the price and the location couldn't be beat...the hotel itself was FREAKY!  It felt a little like the Shining.  The hallways were dim and had strange twists and turns and the whole hotel looked like it hadn't been updated since the 60's or 70's.  Weird or not, I would stay there again in a heartbeat for any of the Philly Marathons or Half Marathons.  2 minute walk to the start.

After a fitful night's sleep we met up with Kelly and Jo and Nikki who were also running the race.  While this was just another race to some of us, it was Nikki's FIRST!!!  BIG FREAKING DEAL!  I don't think I will ever forget the feeling I had during the final mile of my first half marathon.  The emotion and sense of accomplishment was overwhelming!

We all fought our way to our corrals.  Funny moment for the "slow as sh*t" runner married to the "wicked fast" runner.  Paul was in corral #1 based on his estimated finish time.  I was in corral #17.  If it wasn't so funny it would be kinda sad :-) 

Nikki pushed me to run harder than my comfort zone, which was a good thing.  My goal was to hang with her and her adreneline for as long as I possibly could.  I wanted more than anything to cross the finish line of her first half marathon with her, but in reality, I knew there was a good chance that wouldn't happen.  I hung strong for almost 9 miles.  We were running 10 minute miles almost exactly, and this is about 1 minute, 37 seconds per mile faster than my personal record.  I knew at this rate even if I lost her at some point, she would run a kick a** time and I would set a PR.  So a few feet before mile 9, we popped in our earphones, and Nikki took off.  My legs just couldn't keep up.  I kept running strong and pushed to run at my max until the finish. 

Crossing the finish line I was mixed with emotion.  Pride for Nikki who ROCKED her first half marathon with a final finish time of 2:18, and pride for myself for having set a PR almost 5 minutes better than my previous with a final finish time of 2:25.  I knew that for this race, neither Nikki nor I had left anything of ourselves back on the course.  We gave this race every ounce of strength, guts, determination and speed that our bodies had in them.  The sore feeling of a race well run is a feeling like no other.  HUGS Nikki!  I am so freaking proud of you!

After our race we all met back up for lunch, a few beers and a lot of laughs. 

Paul ran a great race!  After an adventure run through the Wissahickon River on Friday night and his winning 100K 2 weeks ago, Pauly did not set a PR, but ran a kick a** race anyway.  It is an honor to be married to this wickedly cool (and good looking I might add) guy!! 

Kelly ran a PR and even after running a great time at a trail 20 miler just the day before!  Congrats!

Jo ran an awesome race, and even through she started 2 corrals behind me, she beat me by 5 minutes :-)  Congrats Jo.  We need to get you ready for your marathon and ultra next!!!

Stephanie ran with a girlfriend for her first half and they rocked an awesome time of 2:06.  Steph and I will be running the Sloppy Cuckoo Trail Half next weekend as well!!!

Memorable race.  Great time.  Awesome friends.

What more could a Runner Girl ask for.

 Nikki, Jo, Me, Pauly, Kelly - 5 of the most kick a** runners I know :-) and ready for some BEER!

* and a HUGE congrats to our friend Derek who finished 3rd overall in the Pines to Palm 100 mile trail race this weekend.  Absolutely amazing...but not at all surprising if you now Derek and the amazing runner he is!!!

OK...Now THAT Was F*cking Cool!!!

This exact weekend last year I ran my first, and what I thought would be my only half marathon.  I wanted the sense of accomplishment and the medal for doing a half marathon, and then I thought that would be enough.  Then I did 2 more within 2 months.  Then I did a few trail runs and fell HARD in love with trail running.  Then I decided to train for a full marathon.

THEN...1 year after that first half marathon...I RAN A F*CKING 50K!!!  That is 31 miles for those of you who are "K" challenged.

HOLY SH*T!

So here is how the day unfolded.

Paul and I arrived at the Hampton Inn the night before, laid out all our stuff and got a good nights sleep.  Up bright and early at 4am to shower, get dressed, fill the coolers at the hotel ice machine and head over to set up camp for the day.  As early as 4am I was already getting my inspirational text messages from Kelly (http://www.slippingslowlyintopain.blogspot.com/).

We arrived at the Leiderkrantz at 5:15am and we were the first to set up camp.  Our tent was literally steps away from the turnaround/start/finish.  PERFECT!!!  By about 6am there were about 12 of us all packed into our tent and we actually set up a second tent just for the gear!  The group of people that running has brought into our life is hard to describe in words.  They are amazing, inspirational, strong, supportive, funny and just plain cool.  If I didn't love running so much, I would keep it as a hobby just for the friends it has made for Pauly and me.  Everyone was pumped up, ready for a long, hard but awesome day.  There were a bunch of us that were there to set personal records and run our first Ultra.  How cool to share that experience with the other awesome runners in my life.

7:30ish I found myself at the start line, ready to blow some minds in my running skirt.  I had no idea what the next hours would hold for me.  Ron, the awesomely hysterical race director from http://www.pretzelcitysports.com/ told us the course was a mess from Irene, so all I thought was "hey, I got that going for me".  I kissed the hubby, gave a high five to Mr. Schultz (also running his first 50k) and we were off!

Not 1/4 mile in, and I already had to pee.  That seems to be happening  more and more these days.  Well, I was told that it didn't really count as an "ultra" if I didn't go in the woods, so at least I was getting that little detail out of the way early on.  So I lost most of the crowd while I tinkled on the poison ivy, and settled into my own rhythm and pace.

At about the 2 mile point of the first 5 mile loop I ended up running with friend Dan.  He and his partner Anh (an accomplished runner, swimmer and tri-athlete) are familiar and friendly faces at many races!  Dan was nursing a sore knee, so didn't mind hanging with a slow chick like me for a while.  He kept me company and running a solid time for the rest of that loop and a portion of the next 5 mile loop.  Dan rocked out 10 miles that day, and Anh did 30 miles to claim their relay team a 40 mile total finish!  Thanks for the company Dan!  I'll run with you anytime!

I felt great after the first 10 miles!  A third done, half a pbj sandwich and I was ready for the next 10.  These miles were aided by my friend i-Pod.  Paul lapped me on this loop, no surprise...he is wicked fast...and he spared me the great big "slap on the a**" he had been promising for days.  Hey babe, thanks for opting to just call me "crazy lady in the running skirt".  Love you like a fat kid loves cake.

15 miles down, some pasta salad, and propping my legs up  for a few minutes and I felt AWESOME heading out to hit 20 miles.  I couldn't believe how good I felt!  It was like I'd only run 10 miles or less.  All I kept thinking was "I got this".

Along the next few loops I saw a few other runner friends.  Lou who was using this race as a training run for his first 100 miler in a few weeks.  GO LOU!  And his awesome wife Heather (training for her first triathalon) and their two cool kids were at the turnaround.

I also saw Rob, who we met at the North Face Endurance Challenge in DC where Rob ran a 50k.  At Labor Pains he crushed that distance clocking 45 awesome miles!!!  Next one is 50 miles friend1!!  I also had the pleasure of seeing Rob's wife Steph (an awesome half marathoner) and their 2 adorable boys at the turnaround.

So I finished 25 miles, my longest ever and knew this next loop would get me the title of marathoner!  Holy Sh*t!  I was tired, but could taste the marathon and then the ultra!

Kelly offered to run the last 5 mile loop and then the additional 1 mile with me (super fast guy had already finished his 50K AND had a beer...or two).  I opted to do the 5 miles alone with my thoughts and emotions, but agered I wanted him with me that final mile and at the finish!

As luck would have it, guess who lapped me RIGHT as I was approaching the marathon marker???  My Pauly P.  My one true love, my best friend and my biggest inspiration and biggest fan!  He stayed with me until the marathon marker, gave me a huge hug and told me how proud he was!  That was awesome!  He also told me he was currently in 5th place overall, so I promtly told him to get his a** moving, to "runny fast" and to win a damn Pretzel City Sports award.  So off his tiny hiney went, racing through the woods.

The remainder of that loop from 25-30 miles was emotional and painful.  There were moments I teared up with emotion about what I was doing!!!  I never thought I'd run a 5k 2 years ago, and here I was with a f*cking 50K around the corner.  Then there were moments, especially in the second half of that loop where I was crying from the pain.  I had at least 8 blisters that were throbbing, 2 toenails that were jet black and falling off BEFORE this race and my legs felt like I had been hit by a car.  The pain was excrutiating.  Weird though, it hurt less when I was running and walking hurt the worst.  All that kept crossing my mind was "if it wasn't this damn hard, everyone would do it".

As I approached the turnaround I knew there was 1 mile left to make me an Ultra-Marathoner!!!  Just 1 stinkin mile!  I saw Kelly at the turnaround ready to go.  It was awesome to see him and all our runner friends (that weren't out on the course) cheering and SO excited for me to reach this milestone!  Words can't describe it...it was f*cking amazing!

So Kelly and I headed out.  The half mile out was mostly uphill so we walked a bit.  Once we hit the woods, Kelly said he could smell the 50K turnaround.  I could too and my legs just got their groove back.  I don't know where the energy came from but I felt like I hadn't just run 30 freaking miles.  I smacked that sign, about-faced and ran out of those woods like my hair was on fire.  We had 7 minutes to break 9 hours, and I told Kelly we were gonna do it.  He said ok, and talked me right through that last 1/2 mile.  Kelly was an awesome coach for that final stretch, and not only couldn't I have done it without him, but I wouldn't have wanted to.  I won't ever be able to express how much that meant to me...to have a friend, and kicka** ultra runner run me through the finish line of my first ultra...priceless.

We entered the parking lot and the finish was in sight!  My legs and adrenaline took over and I felt like I was f*cking flying.  I can't describe how AWESOME that felt!

50K

I did it!!

I'm an Ultra Runner

I did this for me.  For the personal satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment...but...

if you are reading this, don't EVER think you can't do something.  If you put your mind to it, and work hard for it, you can do amazing and seemingly impossible things.

Nobody can say you "can't" other than you.

Go out there and turn "I can't" into "I DID!"

******************

Here are some pics from one of my loops.  If they are blurry its because I took them WHILE running.

Some sweet guy who's house we ran by left out this hose with a sign that said 'hose yourself off".  It was very hot and humid!

Single track shortly after entering the woods.

Bridge over a creek.

Loop around a lake/pond.

Water fall.

Trail along the pond.

You can see this is a steep uphill by the person up at the top in the red shirt.

Another rocky uphill.

This picture says "marathon finish line".  When I took this...I had officially ran 26.2 miles and joined the 1% of the population who has run this distance!

Mr. Schultz, JC and I...all Ultra runners as of this moment!!! (My eyes aren't facing the camera, they are facing the finish line...I was anticipating Pauly any minute).

Pauly approaching the finish line...only little did we know, he wasn't done yet.

And this is where Paul threw his water bottles at me and yelled to Ron "I'm going out for the 100k" and then like a streak of lightning, he was gone with 37 minutes to hit the 100K turnaround and make it back!

And he did it!  3rd overall, and 1st male under 40!!!  1 of only 3 guys in the whole race to hit 100K.  Freaking amazing.  I am SO proud to be this dude's wife!

And he won that award I told him to go get!!!

Freaking amazing!

Awesome running day for the Peters family!

Now we just need to get Hsin trained for her first 5k :-)

Reviews

So these aren't official product reviews or anything...at least no one gave me free sh*t to do them, and I got no money.  I just thought I would share what "stuff" this Damn Slow Runner likes.

Starting from the bottom of the bod and working my way up...

Shoes
I have run in Saucony, Nike, Newtons, Brooks and New Balance.
LOVE  the Saucony Kinvara!  I am currently training in these about 50% of the time, and I am pretty sure I will run the road marathon in them.  I also bought them in black to help ease me into the whole "running skirt" drama.  I wear black compressions socks (I will rate them next) and the black sneaks blend right in.
LOVE the Saucony Fast Twitch.  These are my short distance racing shoes, but I also wore them for a few short trail runs before I got trail shoes.  They are super light weight and the ones I have are in a really wicked lime green that is totally kick a**.  Sometimes I even wear these sneaks for fun.
LIKED the Saucony Xodus.  Last years was black and had hot pink accents.  With my leg swelling issues, they were a little too heavy.  I keep meaning to sell them on ebay or something. 
LIKED the Saucony ProGrid Guide.  They are the Stability sneaker.  When I was a little heavier I think I pronated a little more, and these were recommended as good shoes.  They did end my knee pain and for a while they were my "go to" training shoe.  I wore 4 pairs of them over time.  The reason they aren't in the LOVE category is simply that they are too heavy.  Given my leg condition, I need to give my already heavy legs any break I can, and every ounce counts.  If you don't have that issue, and need a stability shoe...they are great.
LIKED the Brooks Unisex Racer.  I had the white ones with the red and black accents, but TOTALLY should have gotten the white with canary yellow.  What the he** was I thinking, they were SO fun.  Anyway.  When I was still needing a stability shoe, I wanted something a little lighter for longer distance races.  My Fast Twitches were a little too light on stability for a half marathon, so I tried the Racers since they offered more support but were still pretty light.  I found them to be super comfy, and I ran 3 half marathons in them, and trained a bunch of long runs of 8-12 miles in them.  Other than the fact that they were Unisex and therefore really boring, they were good sneaks.  They are in the LIKE category because now that I have a lightweight shoe for training and racing, I don't really need them.  Plus the white upper makes for a dirty shoe all the time.  I have OCD people...it makes me a little nutty.
HATE Nike sneaks of all kinds.  They hurt my feet, don't offer enough support, they are weird shapes, cause blisters in weird places, they discontinue shoes every 5 seconds and generally they just get on my nerves.
LOVE New Balance Minimus.  These come in black so they fit in with the whole "blend with the knee sock thing".  LOVE LOVE LOVE them.  They are wicked comfy, cause NO blisters even after over 3 hours of running in the rain and through mud puddles.  I have run short trail runs, a trail half marathon, and a few short distance road training runs to break them in.  The hubby just bought himself a pair too.  They actually fit orthotics.  He has been coveting mine since I got them :-)  They are minimilist though, so you feel the rocks under your feet so it forces you to step lightly.  It all depends on if you like this.  I love it.
LIKE Newton Distancia.  The husband SWORE by these.  He ran in nothing but Newton's for almost all of 2011 and the latter part of 2010 I think.  He felt like they made him faster and a mid-foot striker.  So I tried them.  The result...I like them.  I don't like to wear them every day...the thing on the bottom of the mid foot is a little weird.  I have never run farther than about 8 miles in them, and don't think I would like to.  They were also VERY pricey.  I train in them and work them into the rotation with my Kinvara's.  I feel like they give my calves a workout and that doesn't suck...I just don't want it everyday.  They are a screaming hot pink which is fun.

OK...I think that is all my sneakers.

Moving up.
Socks
So I have to wear compression socks.  That isn't an option.  So here are my thoughts on the few I have worn.
LIKE VITALSOCKS.  These were the first ones I bought at the Pittsburgh marathon expo.  I had never run in compression socks before and wanted to give them a shot.  I had also never run a 5k faster than 38 minutes, so I wanted to see what they did for me.  Well...they made my legs not hurt and throb so bad, and they allowed me to get my 5k time down to 29 minutes in a few months with no additional training.  The only reason they are a LIKE is that I found something better.  Honestly if you want compression just for recovery purposes, these are probably fine.  I have a medical issue that requires additional pressure which is the only reason they aren't good enough.
LOVE CEP.  Bought my first pair of these at the Philadelphia marathon expo.  Since I only had 2 pairs of the VitalSocks and had to keep washing and drying them (compression socks are freaking expensive) I finally was breaking down and buying more.  VitalSocks wasn't at the expo, and CEP said that the compression on theirs was even tighter and therefore better.  So I bought 2 pairs.  Instantly felt even better in these and was washing these 2 pairs over and over because I no longer wanted to wear my VitalSocks.  I just bought 4 more pairs (holy sh*t was that expensive) so I don't have to keep washing them in the sink and hanging them to dry.
I have been told now that I need to get hot pink ones, and have also been told that I should get white ones, a plaid running skirt and wear just a sports bra so I can be the Brittany Spears of the running world.  If I look like "Slutty Runner Girl", noone will notice my wide legs!!!  (Hsin-Hua is obsessed with "helping", so she LOVES to help me grunt and groan while I struggle to get these suckers on.  She says "here Mommy, I help you" and grunts and groans with me.  They are SO tight they are really hard to get on).

Speaking of legs...on up to "The Skirt".  So I just jumped off the deep end into showing my legs in public and I have opted for the skirt over shorts.  Shorts tend to ride up and chafe on a girl with thicker thighs.  Just saying.  So here are the ones I have worn.  I am also going to throw in my favorite pants since I wore a lot of those...I'll spare you the ones I didn't like.

LOVED ADIDAS pants.  I ran in a lot of different pants through 20 degree weather, rain and 100 degree weather.  I'm pretty sure that noone else has tested a pants comfort level for running quite like I have.  Adidas duodry type pants were the best.  They had a wide but not baggy leg, drawstring waist (why would anyone want pants without the ability to adjust the size) and long enough but not too long legs.
LIKE ATHLETA running skirts.  I bought one that has little pleats on the side, and has pink accents.  Super cute.  It is longer so has coverage, but it feels a little big despite the fact it fits.  I can't explain.  It is fine for training runs, but I probably wouldn't wear it for a race (watch me wear it this weekend).
LOVE Nike Pacer running skirt.  It has a full split on the side for extra mobility, but it overlaps pretty far for full coverage.  It fits secure without feeling tight, restrictive or too small.  It breaths really well, has the little bike shorts underneath for extra coverage and to help with chafing.  I think it looks cute and "athletic".  I just bought 2 more to round out the running clothes drawer.  I'm pretty sure this is becoming my "go to" skirt.  I guess I need to see if they have it in plaid though :-)

Shirts.  I need to throw out a lot of my shirts because the long sleeved ones have lived through 3 seasons and the armpits are pee yellow.  The tank tops and short sleeved shirts from last year are too big since I was WAY fatter then.  So I get to go out now and buy more of the ones I like and chuck the ones I have decided I don't like.  Or I could chuck all of them and be "that girl" who runs in  nothing but a sports bra.  Hey, I may have wide legs...but I do have a pretty kick a** stomach!  One of the upsides to adopting a kid is no stretch marks :-)

DO NOT LIKE Under Armour regular stuff.  It says it is moisture wicking, but I don't believe them.  These are also the shirts that turned yellow in the armpits like I peed on them, but none of my other shirts have done that...so NO it isn't that I sweat pee.  Good thing these shirts are too big on my anyway...time to toss them and start over.
LOVE Nike long sleeve lightweight shirts.  Wicking material is good and I feel like they are well ventilated.  I do sweat a bit, so that is a good thing.
LOVE Ink N Burn stuff.  I am a bit bummed they don't have long sleeved stuff (they do have short sleeves and then the arm sleeves...but I'm not really a fan of that look).  I have 2 tank tops of theirs and here is what I love about them.  First, they are cool.  One is gray with  orange Koi swimming around on it, and the other is light blue with cherry blossoms.  They also have actual crew necks vs the highly annoying scoop necks that most women's shirts have....I HATE those.
LOVE Champion stuff.  I have gotten it at the Champion outlet for pennies, and they also sell it at Target.  For the money, the quality is really good, and the stuff is cute.  I just bought an awesome white windbreaker with reflective stuff all over it at the outlet for like $16.  Can't beat that.  No it doesn't have the cool "name" on it like North Face, or whatever...but it works...so deal with it.
LOVE North Face.  To be honest though, I only have 1 running shirt from them and it is a really thick winter wear one that has the "loop over your thumb" feature.  I wore this shirt to run all my winter, trail 10K's last winter and LOVED it.  Paul got it for me for Christmas, but I am assuming it wasn't cheap.  My vote...worth the money even if you only own one like I do.

The rest of my stuff I don't have a ton of, so I'll give a summary of each...
Sunglasses - have Oakleys and love them.  Don't slide off my head, aren't too tight, and make me look cool as he**.  Had Red Star that I got as a sponsor gift, and the nose guards fell off after I sweat on them.  I'm running people...I'm gonna sweat.  If your gonna use glue to hold somehting on, it kinda needs to be sweatproof.  Just saying.
Hats - Winter hats, I have a Nike one with the ponytail hole and love it.  Its comfy, warm, sweat wicking and it lets my ponytail bounce in the wind.  Win Win for everyone.  Baseball type hats and visors.  I have a Nike visor and I dig it.  It keeps sun and sweat out of my eyes.  Its comfy...so it works.  I have an Adidas brand baseball hat that Pauly got me at the Boston Marathon.  Love that too if I want full coverage on the head, like when it rains.  It also makes me feel really cool to wear something with Boston Marathon on it.  Our general rule in the house is "if you didn't run it, you can't wear something from it", but since Boston is kinda a BIG F-ing DEAL...we agreed I could wear the hat out of "pride for Pauly" and therefore it didn't break the rule.  You will never catch us wearing a 5K shirt even to bed if we didn't run that race.  We take this sh*t seriously people.
Water bottles - currently have the Amphipod bright a** yellow handhelds with the black hand strap.  Freaking love them.  They are snug so you don't have to grip the bottle, ergonomical to your hand so its comfy, and the handle even has a pocket that will fit like 2 Gu's, or your key and chapstick.  BONUS.
Water backpacks - we have a few brands and I feel pretty strongly about each.  I'll start with the hate.  HATE the Camelbak one.  It is uncomfortable to wear, and the bladder is dificult to fill and close.  NOT A FAN.  Nathan, we have owned two, and I love both.  Its my fav.  I have even used a bladder I liked better in that backpack because I like it that much.  It fits in a way I barely know its there, the pockets are just enough for all my sh*t, it clips snuggly right under my boobs, so I feel like they considered the fact that chicks might wear it (others want to clip right ON them).  They even redesigned the bladder to be the fold over kind which is WAY easier to dry and clean.  YEAH!  We also have a North Face one.  It is bigger, holds more water and has a waste strap with additional pockets.  It also has the fold over closure for easy cleaning and drying.  I would never use it for a shorter run, but for an ultra, or multiple hour trail run, it has the added space for things like spare socks, toilet paper, food, etc.  It is good to have in the rotation, and Paul used it for his 50 miler, and for longer training runs.  We're fans.
Watch - Pauly has a Garmin something or other and loves it.  For a guy who needs to know all his "stats" its great.  I on the other hand have a $9 watch with a stop watch feature from KMart.  I love it and it works fine for me.  It even lights up in the dark as an added bonus.  Hey, whatever works.
Road ID - We both have one, I tell everyone I run with to get one...if you run alone without one you are stupid.  That is all I have to say.  All I know is if I get hit by a car, I want Pauly to know and I want the EMT to know how old I am and if I have any allergies or medical condidtions.  They are like $15...so buy one if you don't have it.
Reflector vests - again...if you don't have one, you are stupid.  Even in dim light, drivers will see you better with one.  I do not run at night, dusk, severely overcast days or in snow without one.  They are lightweight and cause no harm, so what excuse is there to NOT wear one.  I've had a few over time but really like my current which is the Brooks vest.  It is black and yellow with reflective strips.  It is form fitting and the size small seems to be built for a woman.  I hated some older ones I've had because they were too baggy and bounced around when I ran.  LOVE the Brooks one, but get ANYTHING if you don't have one already.  My running partners know I am pretty strict about this one...I won't run with them if they aren't wearing one...I don't need to see someone squashed by a car.  C'mon now!

Well, I think that is all my sh*t.  For anyone who gives a cr*p :-)

Labor Pains 12 hour Ultra is this weekend and don't forget...I'm aiming for at least a marathon, and hoping for a 50K.  Let's hope the weather holds up!!! 

What Happens When You Live With An Ultra Runner

A thought crossed my mind during my 20 mile run on Sunday.

It was only for a moment...but it kinda stuck like one of those prickly things that stick to your socks after a trail run.

It's there now...and I can't shake it loose.  Its sitting in the back of my mind...poking me once in a while...making me think "should I do it,"  "can I do it?"

Do what?  Well, what if I try to run 30 miles Labor Day weekend at the Labor Pains 12 hour endurance race? 

Time the f*ck out for a second!!!  Didn't you decide to train this summer for a MARATHON?  That's 26.2 miles...not 30 miles.  And isn't that marathon in October, NOT Labor Day weekend?

When you are a runner alone...running 2 miles is good, running 3 miles is great, and running 5 miles is super!

When you are a runner with recreational runner friends or family...running 5 miles is good, running 8 miles is great, and running a half marathon is super.

When you are a runner with semi-serious runner friends and family...running 10 miles is good, running 15 miles is great, and running a marathon is super.

So here is the issue...I am married to someone who thinks...running a marathon is good, running a 50 miler is great, and running a 100 miler is super.

These damn Ultra runners that have popped up in my life (you know who you are) over the past year are totally to blame for my "its not long enough" attitude.

You skinny little freaks (yeah Pauly...I'm talking to you) are just that...FREAKS!!!  You run for 5 hours just for fun.  You run for 24+ hours...just because you can.  You lunatics are all whack jobs and ought to be committed.

And now you might be dragging me into the insanity.  Thanks for the one way ticket to the crazy house.  If I hit the 30 mile mark Labor Day weekend, I fear I may be hooked!!!

(Oh and I got an email from said husband about an hour ago which said, and I quote, "by the way, if you are going balls to the wall at Labor Pains, you have to do 31 miles to make it an official 50K".  So...there 's THAT!!!

20 Miles

As I sit here the morning after my longest run to date...20 miles...I'm feeling something that is sometimes hard for an over achiever, type A to feel.  Proud.

I am amazed that I could run 20 miles!  I am amazed that I felt good enough afterwards to take Hsin to a kids birthday party, go out to dinner, and even straighten up the house a little.

I can't help but think back to just a little over a year ago.  I can clearly remember the night last summer when I ran 5 miles for the first time.  Going out for that run I was so nervous.  I didn't know if I could do it, but I felt if I did, I'd be a "real" runner.  5 miles felt so official to me then.  As I came up the final stretch of that run and approached my house, I saw Pauly sitting out on the front proch.  He knew this was  a big moment for me.  As I came up the driveway and told him I did it, I had tears in my eyes.  It was that feeling...Proud!

Now, only 14 months later, a 20 mile run stirs that same amazing feeling.

I'm proud of my accomplishment.  I'm proud of where I am.  But most of all, I am proud of how far I have come!  In just a little more than a year, I have gone from overwieght and barely able to run 3 miles to a healthy weight and running 20 miles!!!

That is pretty freaking awesome if I do say so myself!

(Stay tuned for a post about Pauly's adventures at the Leadville 100 this past weekend!  Maybe I can even convince him to be a guest author!)

Half Wit Half Marathon

You know you are a Half Wit when:
 - you drive to Reading PA
-you stay in the only room the Hampton Inn has, which is Handicap accessible, only has a full sized bed, and the shower floods the bathroom.
-you get up at 6am ON A SUNDAY on purpose
-you get dressed and eat breakfast with one single thought on your mind...I really hope I can potty before we leave
-you show up at a German Beer Club at 7:30am even though you don't plan to drink...yet, anyway
-you hang out for about 2 hours talking with other "Half Wits" like you about all the other "Half Wit" stuff you have done and you are planning to do in the future
-you pee in the woods one last time
-you and your "Half Wit" compadres huddle around listening to some crazed man in a "Pre Reg" shirt telling you what a damn "Half Wit" you are for being there and doing this
-you and about 400 others take off, in the rain, and the fog, into the woods for roughly the next 2-3+ hours (depending on how fast you are)
And...
-You run 13.1 of the hardest miles, for 3+ hours, in the woods, on barely marked trails, mostly uphill, in the pouring rain, slipping and falling in mud, climbing 168 stairs to hell, tripping on rocks, losing toenails....
WHY?

Because we are HALF WITS...and for some HALF WIT reason, this is our idea of fun!

Pretzel City Sports - Half Wit Half Marathon was a f*cking blast.

But MAN do my quads, ankles and black toenails hurt today.  Thank goodness for days off!!!

Heather, Paul and Rob - The 3 Half Wits!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

This week has SUCKED!
I have run exactly twice this week.  One 4 mile run and one 3 mile run.  Oh horray.  Way to keep up the marathon training Heath.

-Work has been a big, stupid b*tch this week.
-One of my people quit...she got a kick a** job elsewhere.
--I am doing 2 full time jobs at work because the person who took my old job didn't work out, so I am covering my new job as VP, HR Operations AND the VP of HR for my old business unit.  Yeah, that's a pain.
-I gained 2 pounds.
-Hsin's preschool took away the scholorship for the kid of one of my friends there so she may have to leave.  That makes me REALLY mad.
-The house is a mess.
-I need to go shopping.
-None of my clothes fit me.
-Pei Ling the kitten keeps sneezing bloody boogers everywhere.
-Hsin also has boogers and has been in a bad mood all week.
And you know what...I picked a bad month to quit wine, meat and cheese (and sniffing glue).

Ok...that was my rant, now I am going to put on my big girl panties and get over it. 
Half Wit Half Marathon...here we come.  Please kick my ass into a better mood!!!

18 Miles With A Crazy Lady In A Running Skirt

Last week I finished my first 18 mile run.  Pauly went with me and ran with "the emergency brake" on so he could run my pace.  Here's how it went...from the mind of a crazy lady with thick legs and a sarcastic inner monolouge...

Mile 1 - Wow, I'm really glad it isn't hot and humid today.  I am rocking this new "running skirt" thing, and it feels kinda free and lovely with a breeze hitting my legs!  I can totally do this.
Mile 2 - Wait, I can't believe I am running in a short running skirt.  Do my legs look fat?  Ok...wait.  Who the f*uck am I kidding?  Of course my legs look fat.  But you know what, they don't feel hot and sweaty in pants.  That is pretty cool, no pun intended.
Mile 3 - Holy crap, we passed the picnic area already?  Sh*t that was fast.
Mile 4 - This is actually really fun running with Pauly.
Mile 5 - This is flying by.  I feel great.  I'm a SUPERSTAR!  I can totally run a marathon!
Mile 6-7 - Really, we aren't at the turnaround yet?  I'm feeling a little hungry.  I think this skirt makes my legs look fat.  I'm actually really hungry.  I'm kinda sweaty too.  How the F are we not at the turnaround yet.  I wonder if Paul's Garmin is off?
Mile 8 - Eat a Gu, some pretzel sticks and reapply the BodyGlide to the "healthy" thighs.  Can't have chafing issues with like 3 miles to go.  CAN'T believe I am in a running skirt.  Besides the nagging feeling of self doubt, this feels REALLY comfy.
Mile 9 - Pauly, did the Garmin hit 9 miles yet?  No?  What about now?  How about now?  NOW?
Mile 10-11 - Just keep running, just keep running. 
Mile 12 - Oh, that came faster than expected.  I feel tired, and kinda hungry.  Pauly, love ya kid, but I need my music now.  Gotta get in a zone.
Mile 13-15 - Holy sh*t I feel good.  Second wind!!!!!  Eminem on the earphones and I am F-ing FLYING!!!  I have GOT this run!  Even though I am probably rocking a 12 minute mile right now, I feel like a freakin bolt of lightening.  Wicked fast!  This must be what "good" runners feel like all the time.
Mile 16 - WTF!!!  Where did that second wind go?  I would even settle for a freakin breeze right now.  Do I need more angry music?  Do I need more water, a Gu?  NO, you know what I need...for this run to be over already.
Mile 17 - HOLY SH*T how F-ing far apart are these damn mile markers?  A BAZILLION miles?  I swear to God Paul's Garmin is wrong.  If his Garmin makes me take 1 f-ing step more than I have to, Heather is going to have to choke a b*itch.  Don't test me Garmin.  I"ll set your corporate offices on fire over 2 extra steps without even thinking about it.  Ok...that was crazy.  Pull it together Heath... but GOOD GOD when will this last mile be over.
Mile 17.25 - Out of water in the backpack.  Out of steam.  Out of strength.  Holy sh*t I want to give up and just walk.  Who even gives a sh*t anymore?
Mile 17.5 - Almost in tears.  Don't cry.  Only wimps cry.  My back feels like there is an axe in it.  This last half mile might as well be a marathon.
Mile 17.75 - Best, get angry, loud, pounding song on the earphones and just get this f*ucker done.  Don't think, don't cry, DON'T STOP!
Mile 18 - Drunk, stumbling legs...oh my GOD, am I going to fall? WAIT...I'M DONE!!!

Holy sh*t that was hard.  As you can see, I felt pretty good for about 15 miles, and really flipping lousy for the last 3.  Its progress though and I am really proud of myself.  Less than 2 years ago, I couldn't run 2 miles.  Now I can run 18 uninterrupted miles.  Holy sh*t.  If I do say so myself, that is pretty freaking amazing.  *NOTE...if you can't run, haven't run, don't run or don't think you can...look at what I just said.  You CAN do it.  You have to start slow, but if I can do it, so can you.

Looking forward to an easy mileage week this week.
NOT so much looking forward to the NOT so easy Half Wit Half Marathon this weekend.  Word on the street is you have to be a HALF WIT to do it. 

This Half Wit is shaking in her boots.  At least the Half Wit husband is coming along for the insanity.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Remember that stupid commercial for Nair back in the 90's?  Who wears short shorts...we wear short shorts...if you dare wear short shorts...Nair's for SHORT SHORTS!!!  Hot chicks with long, lanky and oh so smooth legs, prancing all over the beach in their short shorts...AAHHH the 90's!  They don't make quality commercials the way they used to.

Ok...enough flashback to the 90's.

So I explained a few posts back my issues with my legs...and the fact that I haven't worn shorts since high school (and high school was ABOUT 20 years ago).

Well, with loving pushes from both my sweet husband and my kick ass running buddy and BFF Nikki...I ran in a running skirt last night!!!

To all of you with normal legs who have been wearing shorts your whole life with no issues will totally not understand this...but it was SO emotional and SO hard.  I cried a little (ok maybe a lot).  My nerves were all over the place...but I did it.

Pauly said that my legs are not the "ax wound" I make them out to be.  Then he told me exactly what I needed to hear.  He said if he didn't know me and he saw me running or at a race, he probably wouldn't even notice.  PERFECT!  I would like to just blend...its why I don't wear flashy shirts that say "Run or Die" like Paul's skinny a** does.  He likes the flash and attention :-)  Me, not so much.

Nikki told me during the run that every car that drove by was chcking me out 'cause I looked THAT hot!  We also discussed the merit to me going for the slutty school girl look.  I need to find a plaid running skirt, and white compression knee socks...then rock it out in that and a sports bra (my upper body is pretty good) and that will TOTALLY distract everyone from looking at my legs.  GREAT plan Nikki.  I have a little shopping to do later today for my new "Brittany Spears, Bad Girl" runner look. 

And let me tell you people...HOLY SH*T did it feel good to not have hot, sweaty pants on my legs while running.  I felt lighter, free, and cool.  A nice breeze headed up your tush while your sweating is LOVELY!  Never felt that before :-)

Pauly - thanks for being my biggest fan and my biggest supporter.  You sent me links to like 10 places with cool running skirts this morning.  You told me I looked cute when I felt like crap, and I know you meant it.  I know you understand how I feel better than anyone.  I love you so much it makes my heart hurt!  Thanks for helping me take this really hard step.

Nikki - holy sh*t girl am I glad we became friends.  I can't think of anyone else, other than Paul that I would have felt comfortable enough to take this step with.  You were supportive enough and made fun of me enough to make the whole experience less painful than I made it out to be in my head.  You are a great running partner, and a great friend!!!

Rest of the world - do me a favor...if you see me out there, at a race, or wherever...just don't look at my legs on purpose.  I'm wearing shorts in the heat, so lets just let it go.  Let's just pretend it isn't a big deal, and lets just RUN!

(Don't lie...some of you were hoping I would post pics!!!  Get a grip on reality people...its a big enough step to WEAR the damn shorts...I'm not making a public display of it.  Just sayin!)