Make A Choice

So as part of my quest to get even just a litle bit faster, I am trying to drop about 15 pounds.  I figure that logic would say the fewer pounds I'm dragging, the faster I will go.

I'm doing Weight Watchers.  I've used it before successfully, and kept the weight off.  Its a lifestyle, not a diet, and I believe that is why it works long term.  Being on this program really makes you think about what you are eating, and make better decisions.  Measure and eat serving sizes, skip add ons and condiments....that sort of thing.

I'm not saying that weight loss is easy, but it isn't rocket science either.  Calories burned need to exceed calories eaten in order to lose weight.  There...it kinda is that simple.  A program like Weight Watchers just helps you track and organize and count those calories to ensure the right balance.

So why the hell do so many people think they can get results EASIER than that?

Our country spends BILLIONS on diet pills, drinks, mixes, etc. that guarantee to shed the pounds.  Yup, that's right, eat your Big Mac, then pop a pill and you'll be amazed at how the weight just melts off you!

Our country spends BILLIONS on equipment that guarantees weight lose and toned butts!  Look at the flippin Shake Weight.  The advertisement itself should tell you its a joke!  Hey Einstein...you don't have to lift weights for 45 minutes LIKE EVERYONE for centuries has done before you.  Nope, because you were smart enough to pick up that phone and call our 800 number, you will be smokin hot and toned in a month with no more effort than shaking some piece of plastic for 5 minutes, here try it.  You'll feel the burn instantly because its that good!  After your 5 minute ULTRA workout, go ahead....sit down.  Relax, put up your feet and enjoy a bowl of Doritos and 3 beers!  You deserve it, when you step on the scale tomorrow, big changes are awaiting you!

Are we really this stupid?

And ladies...we are the worst.  We buy these products like crack addicts jonesing for a fix!

Just step out your front door in whatever shoes are on your feet and walk around the damn block!  Next week do it twice!  Oh, and stop eating butter!

Speaking of butter...let's talk about food.

I know I said above its about making good choices, but seriously...

Dominos Pizza.  Pizza on a regular basis is not a good choice.  But in moderation, and on a limited basis, its ok.  But Dominos gives you a cup of melted butter with it.  To dip the crust in.  God forbid the dough and the cheese aren't enough.  No, please, dip the crust in butter.  Dominos Pizza is personally committed to your ass growing 4 inches by Christmas.  It says so right on the box!

"Super Size" at the burger joints.  Wait, you mean the hundreds and hundreds of calories in the burger aren't enough.  You mean the fat, grease and calories in the regular fries isn't going to prematurely kill me?   You mean the diet coke I order with my "meal" doesn't erase everything I just ate.  Well heck, then yes, please "super size" my fries to a portion that could feed a family in another country.  And what the hell, supersize that drink too.  And while your at it, throw in some BBQ sauce for me to pour down my throat to wash it all down.  

Let's talk about soda too!  Coke, Pepsi, whatever the choice.  First of all, if you do actually drink the diet ones, it doesn't undo the crap you just ate!  I swear.   Its scientifically proven.  But drinking the regular ones?  If you are "supposed" to consume 2000 calories a day, you seriously think its wise to waste a 10th of them on a beverage!  And who drinks just one can?  The bottle is over 2 servings.  That is hundreds of calories.  And the explanation I always hear about why people drink regular over diet is "I don't like the diet one".  Oh, ok.  You don't like the slightly different taste of the diet soda...but I take it you like the way your ass looks in those stretch pants?  I guess the taste of an f-ing beverage is worth being unhappy, and unhealthy!  Its a beverage people!  Water won't kill you!

Please don't read this and think I am berating people for being overweight.  I'm not.  Weight loss success can vary for reasons like family history, metabolism and physical issues with exercise.  All I'm saying is that all people, regardless of size, family history, geographic location and economic situation, have the ability to make SOME better choices.  Drinking water is free, and right in your sink.  Cutting crap like butter out of you and your families diet is free.  Just eat your food without it.  And stepping out the front door and walking around the block,  turning off the tv or video game and playing with your kids is free!  You don't need expensive food to make good choices.  You don't need fancy gyms, or equipment, treadmills or sneakers.  All you need is to make the decision to do something better for yourself today than you did yesterday.  You don't have to run.  Just walk.  You don't have to diet, just choose to remove a few unhealthy things from the fridge.  It will make a difference.  Not just in the way you look...but more importantly...about the way you FEEL!!!

Anything that is easy isn't worth doing.
What are you going to do today...not tomorrow, not next week...TODAY... that is better for you than what you did yesterday?

What's Up With That?

Is it just me...or do some of you out there like music while you run that you totally wouldn't listen to under any other circumstances?

So when I am not listening to a very cute voice in the backseat demanding we listen to the ABC's on cd in the car, my preference of music...classical - LOVE the cd "The Worlds Most Relaxing Classical Music".  It has all the classics, I find it extremely relaxing, calming, and just love it.  I was a dancer as a kid and teenager, and I played the violin for a while.  I'm actually LOVING the fact that Hsin loves it too and requests "princess" or "ballerina" music.

I also enjoy some radio music, some alternative music and 80's classics like Poison by Bel Biv Devo, Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice and some good old fashioned Michael Jackson like Bad and Dirty Diana.

Wanna know what I like to listen to when I run?  I mean what gets me fired the heck up, running a little bit faster (a slow girl can only push it so far regardless of musical inspiration), and giving every bit of sweat I have?




Eminem!

Yeah...that's right...angry, offensive, violent, kinda dirty Eminem!
While I'm running...LOVE IT!!!
At the end of a long run if I put on the song "Lose Yourself In the Music" I swear I can sprint for like a mile!  The just angry power in his music and running just go together for me.  I wish I could channel that sort of energy for longer than just a mile or so.  I might be able to be mediocre instead of crappy :-)

Put that sh*t on in my car when I'm not running though and I freaking HATE it!!!
I guess maybe I am slow and a little crazy!

Not My Best, But Not My Worst...I'll Take It!

Volunteered and ran the 1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut Half Marathon this weekend. and it was LOVELY!

I swear, I don't know why I even run 5K's.  I suck at them horribly, and all they do it make me feel like crap!  Seriously...I can't think of a 5k other than the one where I ran a PR that I felt good about it afterwards.  I should stop running them all together.  Longer distances are SO much better for my attitude about running.

Anyway...I had a freaking blast yesterday.

Up at 3:30am to get ready and get to the German Club to help with packet pick up, chip timing pick up and day of race registrations.  It was a mad house starting at about 5am! 

7am, hitched a ride with Derek over to the park with no time to spare for the start.  Not ideal as I like to hit the potty as close to the start as possible, but we were running through the woods which means there is a potty anywhere I look along the course.

The weather was a DREAM!  It was in the high 60's, low 70's when the start gun went off.  Any runner is thrilled about those temps, but a slow as sh*t runner is even happier!

Ran the first mile with Stephanie, then her speedy little self took off for the rest of the race!

I took off the trail to pee :-)

Fell into a comfortable groove for the first 5-7 miles and felt pretty good.  Then there was the 1 or so mile long section on trails (the other 12 miles were on paved bike trails).  This was where I felt GREAT!!!  I'm sure I was barely above walking speed, but man did I feel like I was flying!  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE trail running.  There is just something about jumping and bobbing and weaving over roots and rocks that makes you feel like an antelope flying through the woods.  LOVE IT!!!  I even passed a whole mess of people (disclaimer...I am pretty sure they were people who had never run on trails before so they weren't slow..they were just intimidated by the rough terrain and therefore walking or joggin VERY slow).  Who cares though...I passed people!!!  That doesn't happen often so I am going to bask in its glory!

My GREAT, and FAST feeling lasted until about mile 9.  Not too bad.  Then the hip issue I have been battling started to flare up.  My right hip was super tight and I just couldn't get a good and wide stride.  I walked the hills I encountered, and jogged the flat and downhill.  It actually started to feel better when I ran. 

I SO wanted to run better than my worst time.  I wasn't expecting any PR or anything.  It was my first 1/2 marathon since November, and in warmer temperatures...but I wanted to fall squarely between my best and worst. 

At mile 12, Pauly rode past me on the lead bike...it was great to see him, but you know what seeing him meant?  It meant that the lead MARATHONER...yeah, the guy running TWICE as far as me...was FINISHING!  AHEAD OF ME!!!  I know those guys are crazy fast, but it is a little disheartening when a guy runs a marathon faster than you run a half marathon.

Just have to remember, it takes me twice the effort :-)

After I finished, Paul was still biking the course to help people out if they needed it, so I got changed and helped give out medals at the finish.  It was really good for me to see all the folks finishing the full marathon in the time I expect to finish mine in October.  The top finishers in the race have a packed finish line.  Everyone is still there, so the cheering section is huge and loud.  By the time the 5+ hour crowd is coming in, very few fspectators are left.  Everyone is packing up and heading out.  Being one of those people at the back of the pack, I know that running twice as long is HARD.  Those folks at the back deserve the cheering section as much if not more than the front pack...but they often don't get it.  I loved being at the finish line for "my people".  The slow people who have accomplished something HUGE!!!  Putting a medal around their head, and giving them a "great job" just felt right!!!

1/2 marathon finish time 2:39 (not squarely between best and worst...but not slower than my worst, so I will take it)

(Oh...and I got an official email from the Steamtown Marathon today that apparently is supposed to prepare scare the sh*t out of you about the down hills in the first half and the uphills in the last 6 miles.  Bunch of testimonials from previous runners about just how miserable it is.  I guess I better start sprinting down the giant hill in my neighborhood to prepare my knees and quads for the torture in October!  Really looking foward to the UPHILL miles of 20-26.  On the upside...the last .2 is downhill.  Gee, thanks Scranton for throwing me a bone!)

My finishers medal

Our office where we display our hardware!  Pauly runs a LOT of marathons.  6 awards up there are Hsin-Hua's, and 4 are mine...the rest are Pauly's.  (My newest is all the way to the right, and I will be adding about 12 before the New Year!)

"1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut" 13.1 & 26.2 Race

MY HERD OF TURTLES AND I ARE RUNNING THIS...SO WHY AREN'T YOU???

“1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut”

supports Pennypack Park & HCM Foundation

 Pennypack Park, Philadelphia, PA

13.1 & 26.2 Miles (really?)

Sunday, June 26th 2011   7:30 A.M     "Hottest race in town"

"Why not run this race in Lederhosen to enjoy the post-race beer and food"

http://www.uberendurancesports.com/races.html

A Week Of Races In Review

Let's take a look at the races I have ran in the last week. 
Last Wednesday - Ambler YMCA Spring into Summer 5K - My friend Jenny P decided to run her first 5K.  Very impressive considering she is a Mom of 4 kids between the ages of infant and going into 1st grade.  Time is a premium for her, so training runs are the exception, not the rule.  Anyway...she asked me to run it with her so that I could motivate her to run the whole thing and not walk.  It was an entirely flat course, and advertised as "fast".  Hey thanks Ambler YMCA for putting the pressure on to be fast...just because you SAY it, doesn't make it so.  WOW, did I have a bad day.  First mile we ran at 9:30...that isn't bad at all (for a slow runner anyway).  Mile 2 was about the same, but the wheels started to come off for me at this point.  I don't know if it just wasn't my day, if it was the fast-ish 4 mile training run Nikki and I had done the night before, but right after the 2 mile mark, I smacked right into a shameful brick wall.  The friend I was supposed to motivate through this race, I now had to tell her "go on without me" as if I had been shot and she should just leave me to die in the woods alone.  I walked a little.  Caught my breathe and talked a bunch of smack on myself in my head to shame me into running again.  In the end Jenny beat my by 2 whole minutes.  SO freaking excited for Jenny about her first 5K finish, and that she finished it so strongly.  TOTALLY ashamed of myself for my crappy run.  Finish time 31 minutes. 

Last Saturday - Easter Seals Walk with Me 5K - Crazy husband decides we should run a 5K on Saturday morning since we have nothing better to do.  GOD FORBID we have a weekend with no races.  That's how we roll.  So the Easter Seals are having a 5K at the Philadelphia Zoo...what the heck.  We'll go.  Not worth getting a sitter for, so since I suck and am slow as sh*t anyway...I decide to run it with Hsin in the stroller.  If on a good day you run a 29 minute 5K...who gives a crap if you run a 38 minute 5K pushing a baby who is packing 2 donuts in her mouth the whole way.  That is how Hsin-Hua rolls.  So we start...Paul up front, me and the crazy, donut eating Asian kid in the back.  I'm feeling pretty good...running slow, but feeling good.  We lap through the whole zoo, which is pretty freaking cool, and Hsin is telling me all about the animals.  I yell at a couple of kids who keep running in front of me on the downhills that I WILL take them out if I have to so they better get the heck out of my way.  We then do a lap outside the zoo.  One big major hill and I am feeling good that I ran the whole thing pushing about 65 pounds in front of me.  As I enter the zoo again, a volunteer yells "POINT ONE MILE LEFT...PUSH IT" and I think "Seriously...I feel great...HOLY CR*P...I have enough energy to sprint with a stroller...I AM AWESOME".  Then I look at my stop watch.  It says 25 minutes have elapsed.  WTF!  There is no way that I am about to run a freaking PR with a baby and a damn stroller.  My best time just lugging my own a** is 29 minutes, and I am to believe that I am running 4 minutes faster than that with all this extra weight?  But I start sprinting anyway.  Who knows what the explanation is for how I am flying like a freaking cheetah...I am taking whatever PR I can get.  Maybe I really AM getting faster.  As I fly down a small hill toward the final left turn and the finish chute I see Paul.  Normally he would be watching the clock and screaming "SPRINT HEATH"...but he isn't.  Instead he yells "HEATH...IT WASN'T A 5K...THEY SCREWED UP!".  I'm confused, but seconds from the finish chute.  I fly through not sure how to feel about my finish.  Paul and the race director expalin that NO Heath...you are not suddenly light of foot and fast as hell.  You did NOT just run not only a SMOKING PR, but pushing a stroller and baby no less.  No...sorry to get your hopes up and boost your slow as sh*t runner's confidence.  THEY MEASURED THE COURSE WRONG AND IT WAS ONLY A 2 MILE RACE.  On the up side...Paul straight up won it, and Hsin packed away 2 donuts, a soft pretzel, an orange and a hotdog.  What did I get...another slow race under my belt!  Finish time 25 minutes.

This Tuesday - Jenkintown Summer Sunset 5K - Nikki, my new running buddy and fast becoming my new BFF,  and I signed up for the Jenkintown sunset run.  I did it last year when it was hot and humid and miserable and felt like absolute crap about my time.  It was one of my first 5K's, but the hills kicked my butt and made this slow as sh*t runner feel even slower.  Not to mention, last year a friend who shall remain nameless decided to run it too after not running for like years and KICKED my butt by like 7 minutes.  Love you friend...but OUCH!  Back to this year...First came the kids race.  They split the kids up by age, so Hsin and Nikki's daughter, Hsin's friend from school, ran in the 3 year old's race.  Hsin ran with her stuffed mouse, Shiu, and Keira ran with Hsin's stuffed bunny, Hoppy.  Shiu is usually a pacer for Hsin in her races, but Hoppy was an addition to the race crew on this one.  They "runnied fast" and each got a finishers medal!  So proud and happy my girl loves running!  Then the adult race started.  It started out like any 3 mile run.  Good pace, chatting with Nikki, and it was either flat or downhill.  No biggy.  Then the first hill hit.  All the way up one block and when you turned the corner at what you thought was the top...it kept going.  Again, by mile 2 I started to lose steam.  I don't know what it is about shorter races but I mentally fall out of the game so much easier than in long runs.  So Nikki started to pull ahead.  I could see her ahead, but my heavy a** legs just couldn't move any quicker to close the gap between us.  Hot, sweaty and miserable, I crossed the finish line about 30 seconds and about 9-10 people behind Nikki.  Great finish for her!  Nikki's only been running for about 2 months!!  So overall this race wasn't a disaster like the YMCA race was.  In fact I finished in about the same time as the YMCA 5k and this one had about 5 big hills.  So it was better...still slow.  Finish time 31:30 minutes.

I did have a good 5 mile training run tonight with Nikki, and "big ups" to Mother Nature for holding off on the rain for us.  This weekend its rest and cross training, manicure and pedicure with Nikki tomorrow night and then the 1/2 Sauer 1/2 Kraut half marathon on Sunday.  My best 1/2 marathon time is 2:29...my worst is 2:41.  All I am really hoping for is a finish somewhere faster than my worst, and I am OK if it is slower than my best.  My best was Philly last year and that is a mostly flat course.  The course on Sunday is pretty hilly.  Stay tuned.

Runny Fast!!!

Do These Sneakers Make Me Look Fast?

You know you all have done it...you size up the competition at a race.  You totally look around and see the skinny guy in the shorty shorts and tank top and think "that guy can totally kick my butt".  You see the tall, lanky, drop dead gorgeous chick and know she will smoke you.  You see the kinda dumpy, short and stumpy gal in the cut off sweatpant shorts and the old college t-shirt and know without a doubt you can leave her in the dust.

Then the race starts and you realize that "cut off sweatpants lady" is solid as a rock and steadily passes you and disappears somewhere ahead of you, "smoking hot chick" is nothing more than the girl who reads Cosmo on the ellipical at the gym while chatting with her BFF on her iPhone, so you blow past her at a speedy 12 minute per mile pace...and the skinny guy in the shorty shorts and tank top...well you were right about that guy...thats Paul and he CAN totally kick your butt.

Bottom line...you can't judge a book by its cover.  Just because someone "looks" like a runner, or "looks" fast doesn't mean sh*t when the gun goes off.  Some of the fastest runners I know, don't look a thing like Paul, but can actually leave him with a little dust in his face.

I am married to a crazy, running psycho.  Yeah, I said it.  Paul...you are straight up crazy.
And part of that package is that we as a family own a lot of running "stuff".  So when I show up to the start line I have on the sweat wicking, Under Armour tank top, the Oakley running sunglasses, the vented Adidas running pants, the CEP compression socks, and Newton sneakers.  I am decked out in some sweet running stuff.  Running is our family hobby...so yeah, we own some stuff.  Does it make me fast?  Uh, HELLO...did you miss the title of the blog!!!

So I'll see you at the start line.  Its the only part of the race where I may look like I can actually run faster than a herd of turtles.  Then, sometime after you have had a chance to drink a bottle of water, eat a hot dog, chat with some friends, hit the john and celebrate your PR at the finish line...I'll be finishing.  But, I still look fast...I've got THAT going for me, right?

"The Tat"

Paul and I adopted Hsin-Hua from Taiwan in July 2009. Figured I should "splain" that in case anyone out there thought the Asian kid with the name Hsin-Hua in the pictures to the right, was the biological creation of two Germans...not that I'm saying any of you are slow or anything!!!

That said, last July, July 2010, Paul got a tattoo on his left, upper arm of the US and Taiwan flags, Hsin's name in English and Chinese, and her birthdate.

I'm not a real tattoo loving type of gal, but what are ya going to say when your husband wants a tattoo to honor his kid other than "yes", and "it better not show when you are wearing a short sleeved shirt".

Well, the flippin DAY AFTER he got that tattoo, he has been hounding me for another one. WTF...all of a sudden tattoos have the addiction level of crack? Seriously? Anyway, he has been hounding me for a "running " themed tattoo, to which I asked "what about a tattoo to honor me?" His answer..."you can leave me...Hsin is stuck with me and so is running...you can wake up one day and decide you hate my a** and then what the fu** am I supposed to do with the tatoo?" Seriously? NICE Pauly? REALLY NICE!!!

Well for Father's Day I finally agreed to the "running" tattoo and within a week, the appointment was scheduled.

Hsin calls it "her guy" and tells everyone "Daddy has a new tattoo...he runny fast".

Now his buddy is telling him the next tattoo should be grenades on his calves so when he starts a race he can yell "the pins are out bit**es".

Yeah, and I need a tattoo on my a** that says "If you can read this...DAMN are you slow!"

DAMN Am I Slow!!!

I have been having a kinda crappy 2 weeks when it comes to running.
Wait...I should probably back up a little and explain why I am starting this blog...

Let's go back to my first trail run ever in October 2010.
The Dark & Dirty...its approximately 6.66 miles (on purpose) through the woods, at night in the mountains of Reading, PA.

I was TERRIFIED at the start line. I mean, on the verge of pooping my pants, vomit in my throat, knees knocking, "WHY THE F DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS RACE" ...TERRIFIED!

So all by myself at the back of the pack (Paul, my husband was running too, but he was at the FRONT of the pack), the gun goes off, and we start off into the woods. I end up behind a girl in orange and black knee socks and stick with her and her friends the whole race because I am so scared of getting lost or being alone. I never know what their faces look like...just the back of their shoes and there butts.

This all sounds fabulous right. Yup...this is a perfect description of "I May Be A Serious Runner..."

Here is the ..."But DAMN Am I Slow" part...

Paul...the husband...finished 33rd overall out of 440 people.
ME...409 out of 440 people.

DAMN...I AM REALLY SLOW!